We all have moments we wish we could take back. A phone call we never made. The thing we should have said at the funeral but couldn’t get out. The fight with our daughter that ended with a door slamming instead of an “I love you.” But sometimes, empathy steps in right when everything else falls apart. It doesn’t fix what’s broken, but it holds the pieces together long enough for us to breathe.
We asked readers to share their own stories about empathy, about the times when someone else’s kindness (or their own) changed the course of a conversation, a relationship, or even a life. The responses floored us. Here are some of the best ones.
1.
I miscarried on a Friday. My MIL was at my door Saturday morning. She sat down, folded her hands and said, “Maybe your body just isn’t built for this.” My husband stood up so fast his chair hit the wall.
I put my hand n his arm and said, “Wait.” I looked at her and I could see it, the panic behind her eyes, the way her jaw was tight like she was holding herself together with words that came out all wrong.
I said, “I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” She sat there for a long moment. Then her face just broke open and she said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I’m just so scared for both of you and I don’t know how to help.”
My husband sat back down and nobody said anything for a while. Sometimes the ugliest words come from the people who love you but never learned how to hold pain without making it worse.
2.
My mom died two years ago. At the funeral, everyone kept telling me she was “in a better place” and that I needed to “stay strong.” I know they meant well, but every word felt like sandpaper on an open wound.
My neighbor who I barely knew at the time, came to the reception afterward. She didn’t say any of those things. She sat next to me on my mom’s old couch, handed me a plate of food I didn’t ask for, and just… stayed. For maybe forty minutes. We didn’t talk. She just sat there while I cried.
That was two years ago and I still think about it almost every week. She showed me more empathy in silence than most people managed with a hundred words.
We’re close friends now. I bring her groceries on Tuesdays.
3.
This is a short one but it stuck with me. I was having the worst night of my life. I’d just found out my best friend had been in a car accident and I was trying to get to the hospital. I was sobbing in the back of an Uber and I could tell the driver didn’t know what to do.
He didn’t ask what was wrong. He just said, “I’m going to get you there as fast as I safely can.” And then he turned on this really soft instrumental music and handed me a little pack of tissues from his glove compartment.
That small act of humanity still makes me tear up. He read the room perfectly. He didn’t try to counsel me or tell me it would be okay.
He just did the one thing he could do, and he did it with such quiet kindness.
4.
My brother and I hadn’t spoken in three years after a fight over our dad’s estate. It was ugly. Lawyers got involved. The whole thing.
Then I got a call that he’d been diagnosed with cancer. Stage three. My first thought, and I’m ashamed of this, was “that’s not my problem anymore.” I sat with that thought for about two days.
On day three, I drove to his house. I didn’t call ahead. I just showed up. He opened the door and we stared at each other for what felt like forever. Then I said, “I don’t know what to say but I’m here.”
He started crying. I started crying. We stood in his doorway like two idiots, crying.
He’s in remission now. We still don’t agree about the estate stuff. But I call him every Sunday and we talk about nothing for half an hour, and it’s the best part of my week.
5.
My daughter came out to me when she was sixteen. I didn’t react well. I didn’t yell or say anything cruel, but I went quiet, and she could feel it. That silence was worse than yelling, she told me later.
For about six months we barely talked. It was killing me but I didn’t know how to fix it. Then one night she left a letter on my nightstand. It said: “Dad, I don’t need you to understand everything right away. I just need you to try.”
That letter broke something open in me. I started reading, started asking her questions, started actually listening instead of waiting to respond.
It took time. A lot of time. But empathy isn’t something you either have or you don’t. It’s something you practice, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
She’s 24 now. We talk every day.
6.
When I was 17, my best friend and I (both stupid teenagers) were driving back from a concert. He fell asleep in the passenger seat. I fell asleep for a second behind the wheel. We hit a tree. He passed instantly.
His mom came to the hospital and hugged me. She told me it wasn’t my fault. She said she forgave me. I couldn’t handle it. I stopped visiting. I ignored her calls. I couldn’t look her in the eye knowing her son was dead because I blinked too long.
She still sends me a birthday card every year. Fifteen years later. No note, no signature, just “Thinking of you.”
I don’t know how to face her. I don’t know if she still forgives me or if she just wants me to forgive myself.
7.
I work in photo finishing and I was helping a friendly lady who wanted prints off of her phone. She off-handedly mentioned that she recently lost all the photos on her phone so she was only able to get prints from the last few weeks.
I found it odd that the photos would just disappear but the phone was still working. She insisted, despite being a “technology illiterate,” that she didn’t accidentally delete them. She also off-handedly mentioned that she thought her phone had a memory card in it.
This needed further investigation. I fully expected her to not have a micro SD card, since many older folk call the Sim Card a memory card, but lo-and-behold there was one inside.
I put the card into one computer and it didn’t show up at all so I tried our Windows PC instead and it told me the disk was unformatted. Likely corrupted somehow by her cheap off-brand Android.
I didn’t want to get the her hopes up, but since Windows was able to see it I thought there might be a chance… So I took a deep breath, formatted it and threw it into our recovery software.
I was able to recover 90% of the photos and video on that card.
The lady had been waiting for her prints anyway so I waved for her to come around to my computer and take a look. She looked at the photos on the screen and literally started bawling. It was all her most important pics — her grandson’s grad, her dog that had passed a few months ago, family trips… Years worth of pics that weren’t backed up anywhere.
In the end she bought a new Micro SD and I gave her a DVD of the pics at no charge. After paying, she ran behind the counter and gave me a big hug.